Long ago, when I was still in the USA, one Malaysian prestigious
university offered me a scholarship to do master and PhD. At first, the idea of
getting the scholarship excited me but the prospect after graduation was not
attractive enough to my ambitious self. So, I decided to just let it go and
pursued my ambition to be a banker. After a few years being a banker and later
worked my way to other private sectors in the US (mostly on the management and
customer service area), I decided that the long hours and fast pace life ( I
always had to watch my in and out of the office) is not my cup of tea. Finally,
I settled down with my husband who fully approved my new position as a full time
housewife. For a few years, I was a 'mak datin' in my own home attending to the
hectic and hassle of a household. Love every minute of my time as a 'datin',
wife and mother. Nobody pressured me for datelines. I was my own boss except to
Allah and my hubby. My routine would be to wake up late and did some household
chores plus taking care of my babies. Once all were done, I would seat myself on a soft and comfortable sofa with the curtain drawn to enjoy all the programs
on TV. Snuggling with my babies with all the time I had was such a blessing!
Honestly, there were times during my "mak datin-ship" I
felt a little bit inferior and envious of those women with a career. But the
freedom and enjoyment of being my own boss surpassed the need to impress others
with a career. As a result, I had almost 7 years of luxurious freedom which I
will never experience ever again in the near future- not until I retire. Of
course, it will never be the same: I will be an aging retiree with grown up
children and different set of thinking. As the time went by, my mother's constant bickering on my being a full time housewife
impelled me to find a job almost 6 years ago. I was never pushing myself above
my capability. Being a domestically laid back and simple person, finding a job
that suited me was not easy. The only option that fit my criteria is to be a
teacher since the working hours will not be as long as those of other sectors.
Hence, getting into a KPLI program is the answer to my dilemma. Then, there was
the question of leaving my babies to other's care and not be able to enjoy the
comfort of my home as I used to be. Nevertheless, I applied the KPLI program
and failed the interview session. Just imagine a heavy set 9-months- pregnant
woman in an interview to be a teacher! I was 10 days to delivering my third
child and did not much care of what I answered to the panel because I already
had the instinct that I would not get it. I guess Allah knew how I really felt (that
time) about leaving my responsibilities as a wife to my hubby and a mother to
my kids. But, my mother was always breathing down on my neck. "You
have the qualification. Why not find a job. You cannot be depending on
your husband forever. If things turn bad who is gonna support you?" Ok Ok
mom. I would do as you requested. So, that was the beginning.....
But truthfully,
I did not push my way out to find a job. Just by coincidence, my current
employer needed more lecturers for its operation. So, without thinking whether
I was able or not in teaching, I applied the position as an educator. Not in a
million years I expected myself getting the job. I applied the job with the
intention of meeting my mother's request and at the same time utilizing my
qualification for a good deed. After a few months, I got the interview letter
from XXXX. Frankly, I was a bit nervous because I was to prepare a mock
teaching material to be presented to panels of experienced educators. Since I
was not putting high hopes and expecting much, I was quite relax and confident
when the day came. Most amazingly, this time around I was again pregnant with
my 4th child-if not mistaken about 10 weeks. Just imagine having the morning
sickness and all those symptoms of early pregnancy. Add to that is the unsystematic way the interview was
conducted. Luckily, when my number was called up I did not puke on the faces of
the panel interviewers. If I did, it would serve them right for making me wait
for long hours!
In short, I got the job. Although at first I was a bit reluctant
and set myself terms and conditions on my new appointment as an educator in
Kedah, I surprised myself by being loyal to my employer for almost 6 years now.
TODAY, HERE I AM STRIVING FOR MY PhD UNDER XXXX SPONSORSHIP! YAHOOOOO?!!!!
HMMMM...I have mixed feeling on this....
The reality check is that I never dreamt to be an educator. Always
wanted to be a banker or corporate figure. But here I am an educator who loved every
minute of her time as a finance lecturer to the many knowledge-hungry young
generations and in the process of getting her “doctorship” which she herself is not certain where it is
going to bring her the next 3 or so years.
It is then safe to say "YOU MAY DREAM BUT IT IS ALWAYS ALLAH
WHO SET OUR PATH IN LIFE"
